whatever!!!!

I don’t know if I should be happy about this new thing that I’ve allowed myself into. But if I’m into this, with or without my heart, I think I will learn to live by and love it eventually.

Anyway, I had my first day of formal diving lesson today (bec my instructor was kind enough to give it for free). I should be happy about it, right? But honestly, I was kind of apprehensive at first. I had gone scuba diving three times already, and no doubt the experience was fun. But, I’m still hesitant to continue my lessons. I’ve already gone underwater, thrice, as I said it, but why I’m still bloody frightened is I don't know. I am a jerk jud. Ggrr!

This morning’s lesson was supposedly followed by a real scuba diving, me going underwater with a heavy tank strapped in my back and all without much of an assistance, which I am not used to. During my first three dives, I was not in full gear: no fins and tank, bec I’d rather hitch one than carry my own super heavy tank. Yeah, number one tapulan. I feel uncomfortable with fins on, just like that) But today, I was made to wear and carry them all like an obedient student.

The dive, done at the swimming pool, was fine though. My breathing was okay, and I did quite well almost all the techniques (defog the googles while underwater, how to swim with the fins on, read hand signs, etc)

My instructor had already set up the motorized boat that would take us to the Lagundi Reef, which is just about 50 meters from the shoreline of barangay Poblacion beach, but I chickened out. Well, not actually. I had a press conference to attend to in just an hour, so it was kind of a good excuse to postpone the trip. Had there been no other engagement this afternoon…

I just don’t know if I could complete the test (I honestly don’t know how far this will be) like stay underwater for at least 30 minutes or longer (the better). Whoa! The longest I made it was 20 feet for about 10 minutes. And when I decided to go up it’s always because of my goggles (foggy or watery). Always.

There may be a real dive tomorrow. And I am not excited about it. But part of me wants to do it once and for all. The divers in our place are planning to go back to Moalboal to try Pescador Island anytime this month, and they have already invited me to join them. If I don’t get this thing done and over with very soon, I may not be able to join them (and just stay about 20 feet like in the past dives, which is not that exciting anymore). That’s going to be a big loss, if ever. But I still have tomorrow or the day after it. So help me God.