the other side of me

Honestly, it is easier to be silent than say something hurtful when you're angry. I am speaking in behalf of my other self, actually. Like I am not someone who easily gets angry when provoked. But trust me, I’m no saint. So don’t try my patience. There's always the other side of me.

The other week, I really got frustrated. As in very frustrated, fuming, that I was swearing repeatedly (although only those who got near me could hear and feel it), that I was still outraged even several minutes later. Until that moment, I actually did not know I could be that angry for that long. And for what? For a simple thing that I was expecting to have but never got! But that thing—although it was just a mere thing--was actually promised and, I believed, was already reserved to me. It is useless to be furious over petty stuff, I know. But it's that person's failure to honor her word that really got my nerve. Either I was just so overacting or it's already a sign of old age. Ggrr!

And just a few days ago. At Starbucks, the guard there was so loveable. He was just standing there too lazy to move his ass to clean off the table that my friend and I were about to use. A complete asshole! I would not have cared if the table had only some used cups and tissues in it, but it was almost dripping with water, definitely not something you would want to see if you wanted a relaxing stay in this place (its last occupant/s might have mistaken it as a lavatory or what). And the guard! He was just a few feet away from it, like waiting for it to naturally dry up! And when our order came we had no choice but to place it to our table amid all the mess there. I did repeatedly call for his attention, but not only was he too lazy he was also deaf! He even had the guts to turn his back on us. How dare him!! So instead of waiting for some natural drying up to happen, I got up to get a bunch of tissue papers to wipe the table myself, and seeing me do it he quickly moved his ass to do the job. Ghad! Good thing, as during our joint effort to de-mess the area, I got the chance to say something he very well deserved! I just could not help it. Wiping the small round table they have there is real easy, but seeing that guy totally ignoring his duties is just so irritating. I mean, I have nothing against guards. Just that, this coffee shop claims, "our coffee has made us known, but our people have made us famous." Ha!

God knows how I want to be nice to everyone. But I’m sure by now my God also knows I’m a total wreck when stirred.