this movie is a joke

KROCODYLUS (shown sometime in 2000 kuno)

The worst movie, EVER!

Blame it on me I picked it.

Anyway, since there was no other movie available, except for that R-18 flick of Wendell Ramos (can't recall the title), the majority, especially the kids, agreed on this one.

We were all positioned in the living room, where my uncle’s remains stayed for two nights since his death. In attendance were some cousins I only see on Christmases and deaths of loved ones (thank God it is rare in our family) and their kids.

Last night as the last of the nine-day novena, and we culminated the affair, Filipino-style, with a sort of reunion. I think that was the most happy reunion we had. Before the movie watching everyone went to the cemetery for the first time after the body was laid to rest, part of the tradition man kuno, to visit my uncle's grave. And there these cousins of mine made fun to just anything they could think of, even with their dead father. Sus! I didn’t know how we managed to finish the prayers with all that.

Then at night everyone was in the living room: drinking, laughing and eating. Gone were the funeral parlor’s lighting equipment and whatevers.

And since we could not play "tong-its” anymore, movie was the best option as it was still too early for Jewel in the Palace. No scary movie muna, or we would all leap out of the windows if we’d hear the slightest noise from the movie or from the house (some of my cousins and their wives who stayed at this house during the wake actually experienced some spooky incidents like lights turning off by themselves and the banging of the door).

So this Krocodylus movie was the only choice to lengthen the last night before we could all go back to our respective places.

Some facts I know about crocs (I may be wrong ha)…they eat once a month and won’t bother to hunt for food within that period of time, they are not that mobile…and most of all they don’t fly! The movie, entirely shot in some island here, made the croc looked like an animal version of dracula, a flying croc with an endless craving for food. Although dracula doesn't eat whole his prey. The players, by the way, included Maureen Larrazabal, Susan Africa and Archie Adamos, who, my golly, as a local pirate, spoke fluent English.

The most funny part was when the croc refused to cross the lake (or river) to get to the remaing three actors, who were in the other side of the lake. Scared of getting drowned? And, it did not hesistate to jump to the cliff, where the remaining couple (the Australian lady was already eaten alive when she incessantly kicked the face of the croc which she believed was already dead. stupid!) had jumped before it. Bombs did not kill it. It was that stupid jump! That stupid croc landed on a single pointed stalagmite-like rock specially placed there for that purpose. Stalagmite down the cliff? Gad!

Wa juy ayo salidaa.

It was supposedly a thriller movie...

I still can imagine everyone’s expression after the movie. Funniest ever!