when helplessness strikes

How to run away from helplessness? I wish I could…I had wished it several times since I came to know such feeling. It is so damn tough to mend a heart burdened with such agony especially when you don’t know how to fight it.

I have learnt, through the years, to combat against any other emotions including anger and love as never would I allow myself to become a slave to any of these two. But not with helplessness which most of the time leads to guilt, the very reason why I hate being helpless.

One feels helpless when he wants to do something but can’t because of some reasons…

We are only human who commit mistakes either because of our foolishness or it is really meant to be committed, as life according to them (whoever they are) is like a game and like all games there are winners and losers (and I agree with them). And because people have enjoyed the glory of winning the game losing it becomes too hard to handle for them, thus they resort to “stepping on other people’s feet” just so they emerge winners…leaving those who would have wanted to stay in the game stumbling and helpless.

I was left helpless just a few days ago…last Sunday to be exact, and the feeling is still here as I still have to know how my boss is taking it (in short I still have to receive a memo, if ever there’s one). Damn! I was supposed to be painting the town red that day but because of the banners of the two rival papers, which caught my attention on my way to the office, all my strength was drained. I felt like hiding as it was my fault our paper had no such story as I was busy with other things (grrr…) But I could say there was nothing new to the story (I’m still in denial stage) as like us big stories also take their day-off on Sundays therefore papers make a “hill out of a mole” –placing a very simple issue into the frontpage!

The story that Sunday was about Cebu Archbishop Ricardo J. Cardinal Vidal reiterating his opposition on the proposed VAT hike. Take note reiterating as he already said it a few weeks back… but reporters, who didn’t have news that day, interviewed him AND DID NOT TELL ME (why should they? in the first place it’s a competition! a game!) As I was saying there are really people whose only intention is to win, like the title of this site…hit the jackpot. I did not win though… that day I went home feeling weak and all…think: defeat

…but it’s not the end of the world, I still have my job and my life 